Make it Rain

Part 3 of 4 about making the short film City 7…

With no budget and a hoard of zombies to outfit, feed and keep complacent for two days during filming, Ryan and Peter had to get creative.  They filmed a few more webisodes, set up an indiegogo.com account to recruit some donations and I put on my thinking cap.

Paul and Jeff agree – Solar Rain is great at all stages of life!

Recently I had met B.J. Kjaer, Owner of Solar Rain, an innovative bottled water company that uses solar power to desalinate San Diego seawater, and then places it into 100% biodegradable bottles.  Because the water is seawater, you get a bunch of great minerals and electrolytes naturally, which has made it a hot item at Whole Foods and other upscale markets.  B.J. kindly agreed to be our first sponsor for the film, and contributed over 200 bottles.  Ryan and I went up to Solar Rain’s plant in Valley Center and got a chance to tour the facility and see the world’s most efficient solar panels in action – round tubes that maximize solar ray absorption.  Although he didn’t ask for it, we promised B.J. a thank you in the credits and were even able to work a few shots of Solar Rain in the film.

Fortunately, a few of Ryan’s relatives and friends were coming though with donations via indiegogo.com and we were able to stop by G.I. Joe’s Army Navy Surplus in El Cajon and pick up some costume items and another airsoft pistol.  In the basement we found jackets for $5, some cool belts and other items on the cheap.  I picked up a set of sand cammies and a belt for $35.  It felt great buying a size small for once, albeit in men’s sizing.

Later that week, my girl Lisa Archibald rolled up with her sewing machine and we got into the action assembling arm bands I had spray-painted with “HAVOC.”  While my sewing skills were limited, with our two sewing machines rolling, we finished our props in no time.  Of course a cheese and cracker platter, some beverages and Resident Evil playing in the background kept things fun.

My hubby, “Yelp Prom King” John P. also got in on the action, designing a zombie-recruitment flyer.  By recruiting his fellow co-workers, yelpers, ballet dancers, swing/ballroom dancers, and former kickball teammates he was able to bring in around another 20 people to help be zombies, basic makeup artists and production assistants.  Because we had no budget, we asked people to “arrive in street clothes that can be wrecked, covered in gore, rolled-in-dirt, ripped, punctured, burned and completely destroyed. That includes your shoes! Wear only items that can be thrown away because it’s likely that unless you want to wear those ratty clothes again on Halloween, they are ruined. It may be wise to bring a change of clothes and fresh shoes for the drive home, unless you want your car’s sweet interior zombified.”

We had a sponsor, costumes and a zombie army ready just in time for the big shoot…

Tags: Fundraising, Makeup Artists, Short Film, Sponsors, Zombies

Autumn Nights

Part 2 of 4 about my journey in making City 7…

“48, 49, 50” I counted to myself and then flipped onto my palms and the balls of my feet, hovering down into a low pushup, nearly touching my nose on the floor and starting the count all over again.  With City 7 in just a few short weeks, I wanted to rock an A-shirt and have my arms as toned up as possible while holding that P90, which meant for long hours at the gym and at Sculpt Fusion Yoga, oftentimes both in one day.

I designed my “Saber” workout inspired by what I thought my badass character would endure so she would stay in top zombie-killing shape: circuit training beginning with a 3-5 mile run with intervals, 2 sets of 50 pushups + 50 sit-ups, 5-15 minutes on the rowing machine or jumping rope, 5 pull-ups, 10-20 minutes of free-weights and plyometric exercises including mountain climbers, burpees and jumping jacks.

My iPod rocked songs I could picture Saber blasting with Havoc 1 as they gunned-down zombies: At the Drive-In, Rob Zombie, the first Matrix soundtrack, System of a Down, Marilyn Manson, Nine Inch Nails, Smashing Pumpkins and Rage Against the Machine and as a cool-down I’d head to Sculpt for a 100-degree hour-long hot yoga class.

Jeff & Jackie @ the SD Zombie Walk

Just as important as getting in “Saber” shape, was helping Ryan set up our makeup/special effects team and gore rig.  I brought in a few zombie-effects veterans – Jeff Vidaurri and Jackie Bautista.  The first time I met this dynamic duo was in Balboa Park for one of the San Diego Zombie Walks. Jeff and Jackie have a serious gift for making nightmarish ghouls from little more than toilet paper, liquid latex and fake blood.  Rounding out the team were Curtiss and Alicia Hoeft – two creative, hardworking artists who weren’t afraid to put in long hours and get dirty.  We had a few practice runs (one which we didn’t even get to makeup because we were so hung up on talking about the physiology of zombies) but we had a plan and a mutual love of sushi.

Shortly before Ryan and I were scheduled to make a brief webisode about makeup and making our gore rig, one of Ryan’s friends working on City 7 was tragically killed.  San Diego Police Officer Jason Prokop was killed while off-duty being a good Samaritan at the scene of an accident.  While I had never met Jason, Ryan and many of the City 7 team were close friends with him and were devastated.  But with permits from the City and a variety of other key logistics in place, postponing the film schedule would lead to an avalanche of problems if not derailing the film entirely.  While saddened, the group felt that Jason would have wanted the project to move forward, and ultimately decided to continue with the project in his honor.

Sharing a laugh with Keith during the makeup/effects webisode.

On a Monday night, we made the makeup/gore rig webisode, although it took a variety of takes.  Keith was my model ‘zombie’ and the bright lights kept melting his makeup off and made me sweat (and swear) like crazy!  (I must also add that Peter is a patient Director and wonderful Editor.) Then the unexpected over-pressurization of our gore rig exploded so much fake blood on the ceiling, walls, mirror and vanity of Peter’s bathroom that in comparison it made Carrie look like a romantic comedy. While scrubbing down walls and laughing over our mishaps, it brought some much needed catharsis to everyone at a somber time.

With the webisode done, makeup team assembled and my ongoing Saber workouts, we were making progress but the clock was ticking.  We still had sponsors to secure, some costumes to assemble and the small task of securing 50-60 unpaid zombie extras for a full weekend shoot with less than a week to go…

Tags: Fitness, Friendship, Health, Makeup, Special Effects, Wellness, Zombies

Fat Girl Gets a Gun

Part 1 of 4 about my journey in making City 7…

“The P90 is a unique, top-loading automatic designed in Belgium.  We want our main character Saber to use it because it stands out,” Ryan explained, expertly handling the prop weapon.  We were at Peter Stoll’s house, the Director for City 7, a short-film Ryan had written about post-apocalyptic zombie-infested world.  Ryan handed me the P90 and nervously I attempted to hold it in one hand, a script in the other, and act natural while the camera rolled.  Fortunately, Peter’s dog, Buster, offered some comic relief licking my feet as I tried to read for the part.

How the hell had I gotten here? I thought to myself, reflecting on a strange turn of events that happened just over a few short weeks.  During one of my Sci-Fi Discussion group meetings, John dusted out “Zombie Hunter,” a short he directed while at City College.  For John’s film I played the title role, and deftly knocked down zombies with throwing knives.  As an avid reader, Ryan is part of our group, saw the short and mentioned City 7.

Prior to my reading, John and I went to my Mom’s house to drop off a cake I had made for a Grandparent’s Day celebration later that afternoon.  When she opened the door, I handed her the cake and mentioned the pending audition.  “Aren’t you going to wear some makeup? And you’re wearing, that?” she asked, cutting my confidence, when I had obviously already spent quite a lot of time on hair, makeup and my outfit.  Her comments stung and reminded me of the time I was walking out the door for Senior Prom hand-in-hand with my boyfriend and she commented that my updo “looks like a dog crapped on your head.”  Mom has a mean habit of giving criticism in front of a crowd just when you think you’re at your best.  She thinks it builds character…

Anyway, somehow I made it through the audition and later that night left Ryan a message to thank him.  After a few days went by, I called and left another message that I had been really nervous at the audition, but knew I could do a good job if given the chance.  I also said that regardless of the outcome, I’d be happy to help out with makeup and costumes.

Some time went by and Ryan called with the good news, and Peter messaged me formally offering the part.  And then the reality set in- I was going to play the lead in a badass zombie film!  Simultaneously I was ecstatic – and terrified.  Ryan and Peter were the real deal – and had even booked the old police station in Escondido for the two-day shoot.  Would they have even considered me for a leading role if they knew that just a short time ago I was one cookie away from a coronary?  While I may carry myself with confidence, some haunting insecurity from my big girl days lingers like a shadow.  Determined to not let anyone down, I made a vow to spend the next six weeks before the film working my hardest to get in “Saber” shape…

Link to the finished film  City 7

Tags: Acting, Fitness, Health, Image, Sci-Fi, Short Film, Weight, Zombies

Haters Ball

Dave Chappelle as Silky Johnson from the "Haters Ball"

Tonight on the eve of National Walking Day, I find myself reflecting on what happened when I made my lifestyle change…

In 2003, after a few solid months my lifestyle change including a dedicated walking schedule, eating better and exercising, things were starting to look up. My size 14s had gotten pretty loose, so I dropped by to visit my favorite drycleaner and tailor, the lovely Mrs. Manning, to have her take in one of my suits. Still nimble in her early 80s and barely 4’10” with her beehive and platform shoes, she still could deftly pin my jacket without needing a stepstool.

While I was standing in the back of the shop getting pinned in front of a long mirror she kindly said, “My girl! Look at all these inches you’ve lost! You should be so proud of yourself. I’m so proud of you!” while patting me on the back. Indeed, it was weird looking in the mirror in one of my favorite suits, seeing all the pins and extra fabric pinned up my back like a stegosaurus alongside Mrs. Manning in her day-glo Pucci print. Where did all that fat go?

When you start to shed weight after you’ve been a bit bigger strange things happen. Some people who have known you for years will start paying you pragmatic compliments and zingers. At first they begin all nice, “wow you’re really looking great these days” and somehow it winds into a bizarre story of a relative that “lost all that weight, gained it back again and now she shares her Haggen Das with five cats” while the storyteller gives you a long sideways glance. You can almost hear the doom theme music playing in their heads.  Even the Mayor for the municipality I worked at commented that he could still ”hear and feel the pier shake” when I went out for a daily walk with his assistant.

And after not seeing my Mom in a while, she took one look at me, told me pilates was making my butt too small and that I couldn’t be in the ‘big girls club’ anymore then awkwardly stepped outside for a ciggy.

The strange thing was, I wasn’t advertising that I had lost a few pounds. There was no grandstanding, or me tap dancing on the kitchen table during Thanksgiving all spindly-legged in skinny jeans. In fact, I couldn’t afford a new wardrobe, so I just got one suit altered and bought two pairs of pants from the clearance rack at Old Navy. The rest of my clothes I awkwardly pinned here and there. I wasn’t fishing for compliments- or for cut-downs either. Although some of the comments stung, I realized that weight is such a personal issue and that there were frenemies out there who meant to be snarky, the majority of people I knew were just awkward and intended to say something nice, but didn’t know how to say it.

If you’ve made a dramatic improvement in your life and are getting nothing but grief from certain people around you – distance yourself from them. They are likely the people who supported your harmful behavior in the first place and your positive change intimidates them because it makes them confront their own destructive behavior. Eventually, some of them will come around and eventually support you. Some of them won’t – and will continue to barrage you with negative comments. Leave them.

Support your journey by spending more time with the people who support you – and conversely support them. Pepper your world with people like Mrs. Manning – people who practice the spirit of what Hindus call “mudita,” the altruistic expression of joy and genuine happiness for other people’s successes. Think of that person who when something good happens, you call right away to share the news and they jump for joy nearly as high as you do for your own accomplishment. They don’t hesitate for a minute and gloomily think “why don’t I have that” or “why didn’t that happen to me.” They are happy for you because they genuinely love you. These are the true friends that will carry you through any dramatic change, and hold you accountable to you living your best life.

Whatever improvement you may be trying to make in your life right now, you deserve the best chance at success and friends that support you 100% along the way. To many of my readers who are my dear friends, thank you for your love and mudita. Know that the Mrs. Manning in my heart is here for you too, whenever you’re ready to take the next step in your journey.

Tags: Fitness, Frenemies, Friendship, Haters, Health, Mudita, Walking, Weight Loss, Wellness

Read Long & Prosper

On Saturday as I stepped into the foggy night with Bonnie and Josh it seemed as if the hum of magic was in the air.  We were just leaving the warm glow our friend Jenne’s adorable bungalow (built in 1922 and gorgeously restored).  Our small group of friends had enjoyed a wonderful dinner of cottage pie, roast asparagus, chocolate cake and delicious conversation over Mary Doria Russell’s haunting novel The Sparrow.

After being invited to participate in a women’s book club last year and really enjoying the experience, I decided to coax some of my lifelong friends and total strangers into starting up a co-ed discussion group of our own.  (‘Book Club’ was voted down by our members as being just too Oprah, ‘Discussion Group’ seems much more respectable.) Coined ‘Read Long and Prosper,’ we meet up once a month to discuss a work of sci-fi or fantasy over dinner and geek out over all things nerdcore.

While I was a bit trepidacious about our first meeting since many of our members had never met before (and some were just friends of friends on facebook), everyone ended up having a fabulous time.  Prior to our meeting everyone read A Song of Fire and Ice (Game of Thrones Book 1) and the discussion was lively, no one seemed to hold back an opinion.  With a librarian, four techies/programmers, two finance guys, a nurse, a chef, an artist, two marriage and family therapists, an advertising executive, an actor, a government relations specialist and an insurance agent, we’re a pretty diverse group.

Since our first meeting, we get together about every month (or sometimes six weeks) depending on the length of the book.  More often than not, we’re also discussing hot-button issues like Alliance vs. Hoard, the most recent Walking Dead episode and even got together to help make City 7, a short zombie-flick.

While we can’t all make every meeting, we had a great holiday party and gift exchange where we exchanged gag geek gifts like magic rocks, classic books like Starship & Haiku, a mini disco ball and a snuggie for good measure.

And while the camaraderie and the new friendships we’ve made are wonderful, another great benefit of all of this reading is the mental exercise.  A recent article Your Brain on Fiction in the New York Times aptly highlights new research that narratives activate regions in the motor cortex, which were previously thought to only respond during physical movement.

Read Long and Prosper has really changed my life, introduced me to amazing new people and helped me further understand those who I’ve been friends with for years.  If you’ve ever thought of starting a discussion group (or ahem, book club) I highly recommend it.  The toughest thing will be agreeing on a work to read each month, the easiest will be the laughter that rings out from your spirit when you get together.  Read long and prosper!

Tags: Book Club, Geeks, Love, Nerds, Sci-Fi, Zombies

Back to Life, Back to Reality

My eyes blinked rapidly at the big yellow-pink-blue-green blur on our television and I couldn’t keep the tears in no matter how hard I tried to close my eyes.  John had dug the Simpson’s game (yes the original) out from who knows where and midway through our two-player adventure as Homer and Lisa, my eyes lost all focus.  When did it get foggy inside the living room?

Monday at work wasn’t any better.  Midway through the day I found my eyes filled to the brim with tears and an immense headache as I endlessly tapped away at my keyboard in front of my two-monitor computer setup.   “No, I’m really not depressed being back here at work,” I told a colleague while looking over my shoulder, meanwhile holding down the delete button to execute a full bouquet of emails.

Until I was away from it all for nearly ten full days (except the hour I wrote my last blog post), I didn’t realize how all that screen time affected my health.   During my time at the Sundara, I found that I didn’t need my glasses to read or write, when usually they are never further away than arm’s length.  My sleep was surprisingly good, and I didn’t even have to use my geeky nightguard to keep me from grinding my teeth.  The whole time I chalked it up to all the meditation and yoga – but I do meditation and yoga everyday regardless.  The only real variable was my near complete reduction in screen time.

Sure, I’d heard the warnings about sedentary screen time at a variety of conferences I’ve been to for my day job, but I’ve never really thought of myself as being one of those screen-addicts until now.

Every day we’re spending more and more time in front of the screen.  Computers at work, televisions at home and iPads and smartphones for every minute in-between.  There’s never been a time in our history like this moment, and the long-term consequences of all this tech exposure are still being debated.   But a preliminary warning came in a recent study published in the Journal of the American Council of Cardiology:

“According to the study conducted by a group of international researchers, anyone who devotes more than four hours daily on screen-based entertainment such as TV, video games or surfing the web, ups their risk of heart attack and stroke by 113 percent and the risk of death by any cause by nearly 50 percent compared to those who spend less than two hours daily in screen play — and this is regardless of whether or not they also work out.”

So what does this mean for those of us who are health-conscious and can’t unplug?  I suppose our best option is harm reduction since we can’t all go live in an ashram.  Personally, I’ve been experimenting on ways to minimize my screen time as much as possible.  I’ve been stepping up my walking breaks, calling my colleagues the old-fashioned way over the phone instead of using Lync to videoconference, and I’ve been walking back and forth to co-workers in the office, rather than emailing them.  (I know some of you out there have probably experienced this as well – I’ve gone nearly a week without seeing one of my coworkers because we’re hooked on email.)  The Mayo Clinic has some great recommendations for proper computer setup to reduce eye strain/fatigue as well as basic prevention tips that are also helpful.

I’ve noticed that even these small steps have been making a big difference in reducing my headaches, eyestrain and in promoting better sleep.  And while I appreciate you reading this, love your eyes and take a break. Sneak away from your computer for a minute – grab a cookie from the pantry, walk the dog or go out and kiss your sweetie.  And if you’re at work, take a quick moment to step outside just to breathe for a minute.  Your eyes and soul will thank you for it.

Tags: Balance, Business, Health, Sleep, Soul, Stress Reduction, Technology, Yoga

Dancing with Dharma

Belly swollen, breathing heavy I struggled through ardha chandrasana (half-moon) pose.  Even with the wall support, my usually nimble self teetered precariously with the added weight simulating a third-trimester pregnancy.  Alongside all the great anatomical information, safety training and poses – who knew that prenatal yoga training would be such an experiment in patience!

As I write this I’m in day six of the Sundara 300, an Advanced Yoga Teacher Training for Yoga Teachers who have already earned their 200 Registered Yoga Teacher (RYT) Designation and are looking to advance to the 500 RYT.  The Sundara is thirty days, separated into three ten-day intensives including Soul of Life (Prenatal/Senior/Kundalini Death Practices), Soul of Union (Study of the different yoga disciplines including Ashtanga/Iyengar/Anusara etc), and Soul of Body (an intense focus on anatomy).

Right now I’m in the middle of the Soul of Life module and it has been an inspiring and challenging experience.  Our first day together we were guided through meditation and yoga class and were encouraged to not know the names of our fellow ‘Sundarians.’  After yoga class, we were gathered together and lined up in a circle, facing each other.  One by one we went around the circle and faced our fellow Sundarians, clasped hands and silently gazed into the soul point – the eyes – for a minute before moving on the next person in line.

Some people have never truly been seen before, and that moment of steady, non-judgmental, completely supportive eye-to-eye contact can be overwhelming.  I found myself holding hands and looking into the eyes of complete strangers, and watching their souls and mine open up.  It’s extraordinarily difficult to gaze into someone’s eyes when they start to cry – even a stranger- and not feel your throat begin to tighten and fight back tears yourself.  I had no idea what my fellow Sundarians had been going through in their individual lives – but I was there for them in that moment of silent truth, just as they were there for me.

Afterward, we meditated in silence.  As I meditated, I couldn’t help but recognize the fact that I’ve never been too comfortable when people openly cry or show emotion to such a degree.  But this was the first time I completely felt at ease with such an outpouring of emotion.  In silent reflection, I felt my heart filled, realizing how incredible it is to be blessed to be part of such a group of amazingly loving, selfless individuals.

Only after our meditation were we allowed to share our names and learn about each other.  Amazingly, I memorized everyone’s names right off the bat.  Soul-gazing will do that to you.  Once you have had such a bond with a person, you’ll not forget them.

Every morning we begin with meditation and yoga asana practice, and we each take turns teaching.  While I’ve been teaching for awhile – it was intimidating leading my fellow advanced yoga teachers through a challenging vinyasa class on our second day.  The feedback my fellow teachers shared with me afterward was constructive, kind and completely heartwarming.  Also, we were offsite at Bergamot Spa, and leading class in such a tranquil place helped establish a sense of Zen.

After our daily yoga practice, leaders from the yoga world guest lecture on a variety of topics and often guide us through another class, which is an once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for our small group of just over twenty people.  Today we had a Dharma lecture with Brian Dorfman, one of the most-reputable (and grounded) yoga stars on the West Coast.  Plus, Brian’s a Kinesiologist, and offered a wealth of information as well during the Anatomy of Aging lecture we had yesterday.

Lunch with Riiko, a fellow Sundarian from Hawaii

Dharma, as Brian explained, is the combined effort of our responsibilities, morals and right actions chiefly unique for each of us as individuals.  Everything positive that we commit to in our life path that we do for our families, jobs and communities is part of Dharma.  Being true to our authentic selves and living our Dharma leaves a lasting legacy.

As I get ready for sleep tonight, I can’t help but contemplate the joy in my heart for when the sun rises tomorrow and I’ll begin day seven of Sundara and continue the adventure of learning to embrace my life’s dance with Dharma.  Thank you my dear friends for supporting this journey, and know that I support your life’s Dharma too.

Tags: Dharma, Meditation, Relationships, Yoga, Zen